There's No Place Like Home

Okay, okay...this is a little bit of a late update, but things in NYC are super busy, as always.  And THAT, my friends, is precisely the reason that being home for a whole week last week was such an amazing luxury!  There were a few events that were on consecutive weekends, so I decided to just bite the bullet and take an extended trip home.  Although I have to admit, I always say that I need a break from the hectic lifestyle that everyone seems to have in the city and that I just want to relax when I'm home, but I, never fail,  somehow manage to cram my whole trip full of plans and people and food and events. Not that I'm complaining...

ABBY TURNS 2!!!

The first weekend's event was the 2nd birthday of my amazing little niece, Abby!! Wow, does time fly!  I know that people say that all the time, but, I mean, it is TRUE.  I saw her just a couple of months ago when I was home for my cousin Meg's wedding, but now she's actually a real live human little PERSON.  She understands and responds when you talk to her, she knows people's names (or at least some version of it..."Eeean?"  I'll take it!!), she has favorite toys (her Owie and any sort of mylar balloon) and TV shows (Mickey Mouse, duh!), she has opinions (watermelon=TOPS)...  she is officially not a baby anymore! And the person she is becoming is pretty rad.  The party itself was pretty awesome too.  I got to see a lot of people that I hadn't seen in forever, the food was great (If you go hungry at one of our family events, you're doing it wrong...), and it's always fun to see a bunch of toddlers getting knocked over by big dogs and trying to stuff toys in their diapers.  I also really relish the opportunity to spend more time with my brother and my sister-in-law...our lives are so different and we live so far apart that we don't get to see each other often enough and when we do, it's so quick and hurried.... but I miss them (and the rest of my family) a lot when I'm in New York.

"Where are the horses??"

I also took Abby for the day on Monday when everyone was working which was super fun.  Nice to have some one on one time with her and take her to the park and do some playing.  I will MAKE her know me, dammit!! :) My dad also joined us for a lot of the day...and Abby sure does love her Grandpa!  He's so good with her and makes he laugh so much!  Totally great day swinging and going down the slides and watching the ducks and trying out the new birthday tricycle...I think Abby's favorite part was watching the trains on the trestle going over the river with a ton of excitement and a hint of petrification.  Needless to say, Grandpa and Auntie were slightly exhausted after just one day chasing around an energetic two year old... and Auntie had to have a couple of glasses of wine.

Beautiful Wrigley Field

This is where it all went wrong...Good effort though, guys.

CUBS GAME AT WRIGLEY FIELD

I ALSO made it into the city to see one of my besties, Tara.  We've been friends since high school and have since never lived in the same state, but we've somehow managed to keep a great friendship and see each other fairly often.  Our love of Chicago sports just may be one of the ties that bind...  We used to go to Chicago Cubs games together a lot, but location (and the Cubs severe allergy to winning these days) have made it less frequent.  That same epic losing streak has also made the tickets a lot cheaper these days (although the Lovable Losers still somehow manage to bring in quite a few people consistently...must be the atmosphere and the Old Style.) so we decided to pick up a night game when I was in town.





Unfortunately, a rain deluge in the middle of the 5th and an "Oops!" moment from the Wrigley Field tarp crew caused a massive 4 1/2 hour delay that eventually ended in the Umps calling the game...Tara and I held out til about 12:30am before we called it a night.  Glad we did since they never ended up playing again!

Got this ungodly amazing Mac Attack Burger at ROCKIT before the game.  Frickin YUM.

KOONTZ LAKE, INDIANA



I luckily ended up making it out the Lake for a few days again this trip.  I love heading out to the lake house in Indiana cause it might truly be the only time and place that I don't feel like I have to DO anything.  Except EAT.  And drink Bud Light.  And cruise around the lake on the pontoon commenting on other people's cottages...This time it was just me and Mom and Dad and Grandpa (with a quick drive-by from Sarah).  Watched some preseason football and the Little League World Series, ate some corn on the cob, lay in the sun, took a quick trip to Amish Country and enjoyed some great thunderstorms.  Perfection.

Bouncy Castle at the the Fiesta.  Because OF COURSE!

BRENNA TURNS 30!!!!

The week ended with my cousin Brenna's big 30th birthday at their house in Libertyville! A Mexican Fiesta, naturally!  With the awesome taco truck and crew that they hired to feed us AND all of the food that people brought, again, no one went hungry.  I wish I could have stayed longer, but everyone knows that as soon as you book any sort of a plane ticket out of NYC, you agent calls with a great audition...So I ended up having to leave well before the end of the night to catch a flight back to the city.  ( I heard that there was some karaoke-ing, some staying up til 3am and some puking that happened later....but I won't name names. ;)





I could go on forever about my week at home, but I'll cut it short.  Oh wait! I also went out to Lincolnshire to see some friends of mine in ON THE TOWN at the Marriott there!  They were wonderful! Superstars!! So proud!  (SEE??  I can't stop making plans when I'm at home trying to relax!)  Of course it all felt too short, but it was wonderful none the less.  And I MIGHT be back sooner than later...more on that at a later date.

-e

PS:  Shout out to my parents who are ALWAYS so good to me, but especially when I'm at home....taking me out for dinner, scheduling me a dentist appointment, picking me up super early at the airport and taking off work just to hang out.  You guys are seriously the best!!

The Art of Letting Go

  Let's be honest. I have a pretty amazing life. It's mostly composed of flirting with handsome men (and sometimes they're even straight!), singing songs, going to new exciting places, meeting new people, and drinking at inappropriate times.  And that's great.  But there is a lot of the time that it is not so great...those men turned out to be cruel and unkind, those jobs that I really wanted ended up going to other people, and my bank account has hit rock bottom.  This has never been an easy career.  This has never been an easy city...not socially, not emotionally, and not financially.  But it is certainly exciting most of the time.

  I've found that this lifestyle has been both incredibly rewarding and incredibly painful.   You reach the highest heights and the lowest depths.  I tend to be a pretty happy person.  I have amazing friends, I have a great apartment, men like me, I love my neighborhood, I love my family, I'm nailing my haircut, my side job doesn't suck, I have a performing job waiting for me, there are at least 4 Thai Food joints in a block radius...things are good!  But again, things don't always turn out so rosy in this career...

One of the thing that I struggle with most in my life is the art of letting go. I find it to be incredibly difficult.  And I know that that many of my friends and colleagues don't feel the same way (while probably a lot do!). You make friends in a show, the job ends, and you move on.... But I have found that to be the most difficult part of being in this business.   Maybe the most difficult part of my life so far...

I remember being super attached to my stuffed animals as a child.  Like, SUPER attached.  I remember them being my best friends growing up. Those toys were my support group.  ...I remember thinking that my friends from elementary school were automatically going to be my friends at my new high school. I couldn't figure out why that wasn't the case... I couldn't understand why my high school boyfriend wanted nothing to do with me once we went to college. There have been many instances that I thought that my close friends would stay close.  

This career is a dream come true.  I have never met so many people that I have fallen in love with at first sight...men and women that make me laugh, make me cry, keep me in awe of their talent, touch me with their grace, blanket me in acceptance... but that love is so hard to hold on to.  It falls through your fingers so easily...  You get back to the city and people dissipate.  People go back to their lovers, their friends, their homes...and slowly you are left with people that you run into on the street with promises to meet for coffee or cocktails at some point.  Promises that you know won't be kept.  So you learn to let go?  You try to let go of people that you loved...people that meant something to you for a moment... people that have a new set of friends at a new job...    There is such a fine line between grasping on and letting go.  

I've always had the hardest time letting go.  Letting go of boyfriends, and lovers, and friends, and family, and dreams, and expectations, and ideas, and memories... maybe I am too sentimental. Maybe other people aren't sentimental enough. Maybe other people let go too easily...  Maybe people feel the pain of loss as sharply as I do...maybe they are waiting for my text as anxiously as I am awaiting theirs.  Maybe they don't feel anything.  Being an actor is a tough life.  Being a New Yorker is a tough life. It feels replaceable and transient.  It often feels lonely.  It requires sensitive people to grow a very thick skin.  Or shut down completely.  I've always felt like I am on the side of holding onto people for too long... And I never know whether that is a strength or a flaw.  Maybe it doesn't matter either way.  Because letting go is a part of this life... it doesn't matter if you are ready for it or not. People come and go, regardless.  And there isn't much that you can do, but roll with the punches. 

-e

Staycation (July Edition)

Everyone needs a good "Staycation" once in a while and MOST of the time that means a nice little vacation at home - seeing the sights, eating at new restaurants in your city and maybe playing tourist a little bit.  But for me it usually means holing up in my apartment and getting away from the world for a bit.  And luckily (or maybe unluckily?) the perfect storm presented itself for that very opportunity this weekend.

The last two weeks have been BUSY.  I have been working at The Skylark a bunch, rehearsing for a project that Chet Walker asked me to do during the day, Lo's wedding in Vermont was last weekend, auditions happened, life happened... and by the time I woke up on Thursday, my throat was sore, my body was aching and I had a sinking feeling that the dreaded Summer Cold was coming my way... with a 12 hour day still ahead of me.   So by the time my shift ended Thursday night, I fell face first into bed and started a looooooong weekend Staycation.  In my apartment.  And it was magical.

Sometimes I think that a cold is our body's way of slowing us down for a minute... "Whoa, Erin, you've been hittin' it pretty hard lately.  A little TOO hard.  So I'm gonna knock you flat on your ass!" (...or something of that nature.)  So I listened and gave it a rest.  I LOVE a good weekend home and this one was no exception.  I slept late (LATE!), made delicious and (kinda?) healthy food, turned down a few invites to go out, watched a bunch of TV ranging from "The Lego Movie" to a major "Breaking Bad" marathon*, did some arts and crafts (DISCLAIMER: these details cannot be revealed due to it being part of a friends upcoming birthday present. Heehee! More on that at a later date...), and generally enjoyed some rest, relaxation, and alone time.  And didn't feel guilty about it. one. bit.

Since I had all of this time on my hands, I spent a lot of time making food - Salsa, Penne with homemade Vodka Sauce, Peach Ice Cream and best yet, made my own fricken' ALMOND MILK!  (Who the hell do I think I am??) I wrote a post a bit ago about trying to eat better, choosing more whole foods, staying away from fillers and pesticides, etc.  Milk is definitely something that I struggle with... I love dairy milk, but I get concerned about the hormones and contaminants and fat content and excess lactose. I tried Almond/Soy/Coconut milk, but then I heard that the store brands have a lot of other random additives as well.  Well, shit...

   
So I thought, hey, let's give homemade Almond Milk a whirl!  ....and turns out that it was pretty damn easy to make!  Take about 1/2 cup of raw almonds and soak them overnight to remove some sort of natural enzyme inhibitor found in the skin (...something ...something ...science).

After draining them, add the almonds and about 4 cups of water to the blender...I used my NutriBullet and I bet a Vitamix would be great, but I think a regular blender would also do just fine.  I also added a dollop of honey, a pinch of salt, and a bit of Pure Vanilla Extract to taste. Blend it up real good for about a minute or two (maybe more if you are using a regular blender) and then strain it into a pitcher with a lid of some sort.  To strain it, I used a piece of cheese cloth, but apparently there is a thing called a Nut Milk Bag (HA!) that is specifically designed for this.  Maybe next time.  You put it through the cloth and then squeeze out the extra liquid from the almond pulp.  It all strains out nice and clean and makes....ALMOND MILK!! And let me tell you, it tastes amazing.  And you can totally make it to your own taste....sweet, vanilla-y, whatever.  It doesn't keep too long, but that is the price you pay for fresh!!  Regardless, total success! Get into it!!  Your internal organs will SING!!! :)

 *** SIDE NOTE:  Almond Pulp.  What the hell do I do with that?  I have no idea...  Seems a shame to throw it away, but yeah...I don't know.  That's what Pinterest is for, I guess.  Let me know if you have any ideas...***

* And speaking of your insides singing....actually NO.  Let's talk about BREAKING BAD.  I know that I am really late to the party, but I started watching it and have had a few marathon days and I'm PISSED.  To be fair, I'm only just into Season 5, but what the hell?? I'm so mad at Walt.  He's such a dick now...to his family, to Jesse, to his "co-workers"....I'm just annoyed.  He is really turning out to be the anti-hero when he started out with such noble intentions.  I guess that's what makes the writing so genius...the slow decline into moral ambiguity...no "good guys" or "bad guys", just incredibly flawed people.  Everyone keeps telling me to stick with it and that it all wraps up, but....UGH.  I don't know. It is so hard to keep rooting for this guy that is turning out to be a real asshole.  And then you find yourself feeling so much empathy for Jesse, a meth head, loose cannon with a skewed (but noble?) moral compass.  I think I just talked myself back into thinking that it is a GREAT show.  But now I can't stop until I finish it and see how it all ends.  DAMN YOU, NETFLIX!!!!


Anyway, I was very lucky that I got to rest up, recharge my battery and fight this cold in peace with NOTHING to do....Back to reality tomorrow, I suppose!  But at least I'm feeling better and have a lot to look forward to next week...as soon as I finish just one more episode of Breaking Bad. Maybe two more. THREE max...  ;-)



(And seriously, try the almond milk.)

-e

Lo and Ira Tie the Knot!

I don't get to go to a lot of weddings.  I've, fortunately, gotten to go to most (all?) of my family weddings, but friend weddings have not been so lucky.  I'm always either working and physically not able to make it, or NOT working and monetarily not able to attend...go figure.  I've, sadly, missed some of my best friends' big days.  So I was SUPER excited when all the stars aligned and I was in between jobs for the Vermont wedding of one of my most favorite friends, Lauren Foukes, and her fiance, Ira Shaughnessy...and what a wedding it was!

Both Lo and Ira live in San Francisco, so it sure was kismet (for my wallet, at least) that they decided to have their wedding on some family land in Vermont.  Actually, it wasn't just good luck for my wallet, but also for my soul...leaving NYC and slowly watching the skyscrapers and pavement turn into mountains and trees is so wonderful.  It's amazing how much being in nature soothes my spirit.

We drove to Montpelier (the capitol of Vermont, the smallest capitol in the US with a population of barely 8,000, and the only US capitol city without a McDonald's...how 'bout THAT?) on Friday for the rehearsal dinner, and I swear that that could have been the wedding day in and of itself!  Everyone looked lovely, they had tons of beer and people cooking brick oven pizzas, we could look over the entire lush, green valley from this AMAZING three story barn that Ira's Uncles had just built and to top it all off, there was a full on fireworks display just for the happy couple.  And not like a crappy amateur firework show...to paraphrase my friend, Boy Aaron, "These are better than my town's fireworks! ....and it isn't a poor town."  It was extraordinary.  And that was just the rehearsal dinner...

 The ceremony didn't start until 5:00 the next day, so we had plenty of time to explore around town.  And let's be clear, it was not a big town.  Had a bangin' brunch at this farm to table place called KISMET, went to the farmer's market (cause it's Vermont, duh.) and ate ice cream before loading onto the shuttle bus and driving to the middle of nowhere.  And let me tell you, the middle of nowhere is GORGEOUS.  See how happy I am about gorgeous nature? ---------------------------->>

And the wedding was brilliant.  The food was amazing, the tables were beautiful, the music and dancing was so much fun...it was all just picture perfect.  And I KNOW that Lauren and Ira and their families and wedding party did A TON of it themselves.  I can't even imagine how much work that had to have been.  But I think it all just came together beautifully!

And let me say...I don't know WHAT was going on in that nature, but it was definitely making me a little weepy!  This is what happens when you take city folk out of the city, I guess....immediate sappiness.  But seriously, I don't think that there was a dry eye in the place.  The setting was so breathtaking and Lo looked so beautiful and Ira and Lauren are so good together and I was just SO happy for them.  One of the bridesmaids, Lindsey, said it best when she talked about, in her speech, how Lauren has always had a way of reaching across the distance and putting forth so much effort to make a friendship work, even across the country or ocean.  She has a magical way of making everyone feel special and included and important.  She is incredibly generous in time and spirit.  And anyone that can live with me as long and as well as she has, has GOT to be part saint, amiright?  I noticed, at the wedding, that I, resident actor/singer/crazy person, was there with all Business school people...and friends from her dorm freshman year....and friends from high school...and friends from San Francisco - and everyone KNEW each other! Lauren has such a talent for bringing people together.  And making people laugh and smile and just feel happy. And I was just so elated, in that moment,  that this lovely person had found someone equally as wonderful to spend her life with.  Aaaaaaaand tears.  This may have been the first time that I have ever cried at a wedding!  I just love it when great things happen to great people.  And I LOVE that I got to be there for it.  

On a side note: There were so many friends there as well that I haven't seen in far too long.  Friends that I really had lost a lot of contact with. Friends that live far away and I don't get to see very often...and friends that live in my own neighborhood that I don't get to see very often.  Friends whose lives are mostly unknown to me these days.  Friends that I had previously been much closer to.  And they were all there for Lauren.  I occasionally mourn the fact that people that were once so close to me have faded away and I have to take responsibility for my own part in that.  So I'm going to try to be better...try to put forth more effort, whether these friends are across the country or just across town.  I am not naive enough to think that every person that I meet and enjoy the presence of can stay in my life forever...But I certainly can do my part to keep as much love in my life as I can! 

Anyway, back on track....the weekend was amazing. Full of laughter and love and great food and fresh air and old friends (and some new ones!)  Couldn't have asked for more!  :) And watch out, all of you, I just may be showing up in your cities one of these days....

And what Michigan wedding would be complete without one or two "Hail to the Victors!"?

I Really Just Want a Beer and Some Mac and Cheese

Let's face it. I don't really cook...I mean, I CAN (to a degree), I just, kinda...don't. It's hard to when you live alone and most of the time it turns out to be a hell of a lot cheaper and less wasteful to just order takeout.  (You also don't have to wash dishes when you get takeout, just saying...)  I tend to spend most of my days out and about in the city or meeting people for drinks/food or eating at work - so grocery shopping just seems like a waste.  ...Ok, I think that those are all of my excuses.  For now.

But I've decided that I want to start cooking more.  Eat more whole foods, organic foods, REAL foods... Spend a little more time and money in the hopes that my insides don't turn to mush by the time I'm 40.  I grew up nutritionally bipolar.... My dad (and the McGrath's) are a fan of the veggie and the whole grain while my Mom (and the Murphy side) might literally think that ketchup is a vegetable. Part of me really loves a good, hearty salad and a farmers market and a salmon filet and organic everything and the OTHER half would gladly live on Velveeta, pizza and ranch dressing. GLADLY.  So how does one reconcile those two opposites? (No seriously, it's not rhetorical...) 

Right now, I'm trying to start by making little changes... Whole wheat pasta, baking my own bread, hitting up the farmers market for more local and organic veggies/meats and trying to be really careful about hormones/pesticides/etc. But it's hard to eat right!! So many things are marketed toward dieting, trying to trick you into thinking that low-fat, no sugar, low cal means that things are healthier when really all that crap is just making your insides turn to mush even FASTER!  Ugh, I'm exhausted. But I'm TRYING! I have pictures to prove it...

Yep, baked that.  And it was the MOST easy and delicious and CHEAP! Go here and make this recipe IMMEDIATELY.  Do it now.

Watermelon Sorbet. Made that too. Like a boss.

Watermelon Feta Balsamic Salad.  God Damn Martha Stewart over here!!
(Pretend you don't see the wine glass in the background.)

Like I said, I'm trying!  So if you have any great, easy, low cost, healthy and whole recipes, send 'em my way! AND if you have a recipe for something REALLY fatty but totally worth it, send that my way too.  (I'm trying.)

- e

PS:  I've been dreeeeaaaming of having my own garden to grow my own delicious veggies in.  ...Seriously, Rest of the Country, those are the kinds of things you dream about in NYC.  So just throwing it out there, Universe! ;-)

Dirty Thirty

I just turned 30.  I mean, I swear I was just leaving for college, right?  It's crazy how time flies the older you get...I remember when a summer felt like an eternity, when a school year took FOREVER...  But here I am at 30.  And I have to say that 30 is not at all what I expected it to look like.  I expected to be OLD now!  Thirty is such a crazy milestone...I think that it is the magic number where you think that you are truly going to be an adult, and in reality (and especially in my business), that is just NOT the case. I don't own a home, I don't have my own family, I haven't accomplished all of my career goals, I don't have a retirement plan, I do NOT have my shit together...not like I thought I would, long ago, when I imagined 30.  On the flip side, I've been to places I NEVER thought I would travel to, become great friends with people I didn't imagine I would have anything in common with, had the MOST fun, laughed the MOST laughs, I have an exciting and fun life...

I always thought that 30 was when you top the hill and it all goes down from there...and don't get me wrong, part of me feels scared that that is the case - the best times are behind me: my looks, my fun, my energy, my worth, my vitality.  But I really think that that is just what I was led to believe because, honestly, I feel great.  I think I look my best, I'm in the best shape of my life, I'm finally figuring out who I am, I'm learning to put myself and my needs first...so what is the big deal?  You couldn't pay me to be 18 and unsure and awkward again... or 21 and reckless and crazy...or 25 and insecure and scared...

I recently found this list (I'm a fan of inspirational lists, what can I say?) about the things you learn in your 30's, and I actually found it to be pretty comforting and it contained some great advice.  Most people I know say that it wasn't until they entered their 30's that they really felt like they were coming into their own and started to figure themselves out.  I really liked this quote from the article:
      “Unless you are already dead — mentally, emotionally, and socially — you cannot anticipate your life 5 years into the future. It will not develop as you expect. So just stop it. Stop assuming you can plan far ahead, stop obsessing about what is happening right now because it will change anyway, and get over the control issue about your life’s direction."

      I guess what I'm saying is that, as cliche as it sounds, age really is just a number.  And the expectations that go along with those numbers can be our worst enemy.  ...And also, I'm glad that one of my best friends is a fitness instructor. :)

So, now I have this blog. I'm not sure what it's gonna be all about yet...but I can promise pictures of my food. And cocktails.  And probably all of the random things/places/people of my life. And probably posts about being at the beach when everyone else was at work.  And at least it can be a record of all of my crazy to look at when I'm 80! :)  Until next time....