Dirty Thirty

I just turned 30.  I mean, I swear I was just leaving for college, right?  It's crazy how time flies the older you get...I remember when a summer felt like an eternity, when a school year took FOREVER...  But here I am at 30.  And I have to say that 30 is not at all what I expected it to look like.  I expected to be OLD now!  Thirty is such a crazy milestone...I think that it is the magic number where you think that you are truly going to be an adult, and in reality (and especially in my business), that is just NOT the case. I don't own a home, I don't have my own family, I haven't accomplished all of my career goals, I don't have a retirement plan, I do NOT have my shit together...not like I thought I would, long ago, when I imagined 30.  On the flip side, I've been to places I NEVER thought I would travel to, become great friends with people I didn't imagine I would have anything in common with, had the MOST fun, laughed the MOST laughs, I have an exciting and fun life...

I always thought that 30 was when you top the hill and it all goes down from there...and don't get me wrong, part of me feels scared that that is the case - the best times are behind me: my looks, my fun, my energy, my worth, my vitality.  But I really think that that is just what I was led to believe because, honestly, I feel great.  I think I look my best, I'm in the best shape of my life, I'm finally figuring out who I am, I'm learning to put myself and my needs first...so what is the big deal?  You couldn't pay me to be 18 and unsure and awkward again... or 21 and reckless and crazy...or 25 and insecure and scared...

I recently found this list (I'm a fan of inspirational lists, what can I say?) about the things you learn in your 30's, and I actually found it to be pretty comforting and it contained some great advice.  Most people I know say that it wasn't until they entered their 30's that they really felt like they were coming into their own and started to figure themselves out.  I really liked this quote from the article:
      “Unless you are already dead — mentally, emotionally, and socially — you cannot anticipate your life 5 years into the future. It will not develop as you expect. So just stop it. Stop assuming you can plan far ahead, stop obsessing about what is happening right now because it will change anyway, and get over the control issue about your life’s direction."

      I guess what I'm saying is that, as cliche as it sounds, age really is just a number.  And the expectations that go along with those numbers can be our worst enemy.  ...And also, I'm glad that one of my best friends is a fitness instructor. :)

So, now I have this blog. I'm not sure what it's gonna be all about yet...but I can promise pictures of my food. And cocktails.  And probably all of the random things/places/people of my life. And probably posts about being at the beach when everyone else was at work.  And at least it can be a record of all of my crazy to look at when I'm 80! :)  Until next time....