It's My One Year Mediversary

I woke up this morning, lay in bed, and scrolled through my email, pausing at one in particular - "Happy 1 Year Mediversary!". The email was from Emily Fletcher of Ziva Meditation, letting me know that, as of today, I have been meditating for an entire year.  It honestly feels like a second birthday in some ways - a benchmark at which to look back on my last 365 days.

I came to Emily last February after coming off of a tour that had left me feeling irritable, cynical and stressed.  I tend to be the one in a show that is excited for two show days and sad when the contract ends and enjoying every minute of employment, but this felt so different.  The tour schedule was grueling and it was sucking all of the enjoyment out of doing a show that I really loved to do.  It also didn't help that I was heading back to a city where I was accustomed to feeling tired, poor and angry. As fate would have it, I had drinks with my friend Lindsey Clayton who told me about a class she had just taken in Vedic Meditation.  I went to the Intro Meeting, and the rest was history...

Since that day, I have been meditating 20 minutes, twice a day.  It's been hard.  I've fallen off the wagon...  I've forgotten about my second meditation until I'm 3 mimosas into a Sunday brunch... I've wanted to watch TV/cook dinner/sleep longer instead of sitting with my eyes closed for a while.  But I've stuck with it and slowly but surely I've watched my life transform.  I'm not even sure that I can describe the difference because the changes have come so very gradually that they are almost imperceivable.  Emily talks about how people will come to her and say "My mantra isn't working...meditation isn't working." and she'll ask, "Well, how is your life?"  They often reply, "My life is going great, everything is working out wonderfully - I have a new boyfriend, and I changed careers and I'm really happy!  But my mantra...."  The point is-we meditate to get good at life, not to get good at meditation.

When I think back to a year ago, I am amazed at the difference.  I feel more gratitude, I feel less angry, I drink less, I am RARELY tired during the day, I sleep like a baby, I feel kinder and more empathetic, I am more in the moment, daily troubles don't bother me as much...I've somehow made big life decisions and followed my heart, taken leaps that I never would have taken before. Meditation is definitely helping me be better at life...  But I think that the biggest change for me has been how much kinder I am to myself.  That little voice in my head got a much needed attitude adjustment, ditched the negative self-talk, and became my biggest cheerleader.

By no means is the journey finished.  From what I'm told, it's a 10 year process AT LEAST! So I've barely scratched the surface.  But being a year in is such an accomplishment for me.  I've faltered, but I've stuck with it....and that is huge.  I'm proud of my 1 year Mediversary and I truly can't wait to see what the next 10 years bring...

And if you are interested, PLEASE check out zivameditation.com.  You won't be sorry! :)

...In with the new (but LOL, this is so late...) aka Lighter Boots

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Yes it's March.  Sometimes I'm a late bloomer...I guess that a lot has been going on since my last post.  ...Back in December. Let's see...I went back on the tour for the beginning of January.  I have to admit that I was kind of over it at that point.  I still enjoyed doing the show, but it's really hard to come back for only about two weeks after being off for almost a full month.  And the travel on that last leg was ROUGH. Long flights, majorly delayed flights, a couple unacceptable hotels, MONTANA in the winter....Yeah, I was ready to come home.

So "See Ya, SJC Tour", "Hello (again), NYC".  So here I am back in the city. Starting a new year and a new chapter yet again.  I may have mentioned in a previous post that last year was just kind....so, so.  I felt like I started on such a good note and then just fell back on old habits and insecurities.  But hey, you just pick yourself up and dust yourself off and start again.  I'm not really one for New Year's Resolutions, but...actually I totally am.  I love the idea of getting a fresh start at the start of a new year, even if it is just an illusion.  So this year I made a list...things I wanted to get done, things I wanted to be... I have to say, so far I am nailing it.  Maybe I subconsciously waited til March to write this just to see how it all went...and you know what?  I actually think it's going really well!

2015 is the year of being happy and healthy.  I know, I know...isn't it always?  But listen, I absolutely believe in the power of the mind...call it the law of attraction or whatever (but not that "Secret" bullshit.) And I can occasionally be wishy washy, but when I do set something in my mind I am usually gonna somehow make it happen.  Things start to come out of the woodwork to aid me in my pursuit.  Which is exactly what happened these past couple of months...

First of all, let's talk about my friend Lindsey Clayton.  She's a star and she is someone with which I feel a definitely kinship.  We tend to be on the same page in life most of the time, for better or for worse.  So it wasn't a HUGE surprise when I came back home and Lindsey was also on a "happy and healthy 2015" kick - Lindsey had a major life change last year when she tore her ACL jokingly dancing to Taylor Swift (DAMN YOU, SWIFTY!) before one of her classes at Barry's Bootcamp and, as an in-demand trainer, it was really a huge blow that forced her to slow down and evaluate what was going on in her life. And while I didn't get injured this year, I kind of feel like I tore the ACL in my soul (**shhhhh....just go with it, move on.**) Things felt awkward and painful and stagnant.  I am reminded of a great metaphor in this book I'm reading right now. The main character, a young boy, often says that he gets "heavy boots" when things are tough.  And I get that. I had Heavy Boots for lots of last year.  But Lindsey had found and taken this Vedic Meditation course before I got home and told me that she thought that it would be my jam.  So I went and attended the Intro Talk with Emily Fletcher (a former Broadway performer) of Ziva Meditation.  I was sold in like 5 minutes and ended up taking the course that same week.  I'm not gonna get into the actual practice much, but it has definitely been just what I was looking for.  It always amazes me when things show up in my life that I literally just wrote down a few days or weeks before... I get a residual check in the mail when I have needed more money,  I book a show that asks me to dye my hair when I want to go from brunette to blonde, I get a job in Chicago just when I think I'd like to be home more often. It's really crazy.  And this practice has been kind of taking care of a lot of the esoteric New Year's goals that I wrote down a couple of months ago.  I have only been meditating for about a month, but I can't wait to be 3 months in...or 2 years in...or 10 years in.  And it's really nice to have a friend that is working towards the same goals I am...while still enjoying an OCCASIONAL (**shhhhh...just go with it, move on**) bottle of champagne.

I have a ways to go, and there are definitely things that I need to work out...but I feel awesome and in control and inspired! I also found a great Yoga Groupon, so I've been working on that...cooking more of my own food...taking care of my mental/physical/emotional health.  I've been working out a lot (again, huge kudos to Lindsey for always letting me use the comp to her class when I'm the most poor) and it feels good to be getting stronger and better and more grounded.  Cause, yeah, I know...New Year's Resolutions, Ugh! But isn't it better to at least TRY to be a better/stronger/healthier/happier/fitter/smarter/kinder/braver human this new year?  The other option doesn't really seem that appealing...

-e