There's No Place Like Home

Okay, okay...this is a little bit of a late update, but things in NYC are super busy, as always.  And THAT, my friends, is precisely the reason that being home for a whole week last week was such an amazing luxury!  There were a few events that were on consecutive weekends, so I decided to just bite the bullet and take an extended trip home.  Although I have to admit, I always say that I need a break from the hectic lifestyle that everyone seems to have in the city and that I just want to relax when I'm home, but I, never fail,  somehow manage to cram my whole trip full of plans and people and food and events. Not that I'm complaining...

ABBY TURNS 2!!!

The first weekend's event was the 2nd birthday of my amazing little niece, Abby!! Wow, does time fly!  I know that people say that all the time, but, I mean, it is TRUE.  I saw her just a couple of months ago when I was home for my cousin Meg's wedding, but now she's actually a real live human little PERSON.  She understands and responds when you talk to her, she knows people's names (or at least some version of it..."Eeean?"  I'll take it!!), she has favorite toys (her Owie and any sort of mylar balloon) and TV shows (Mickey Mouse, duh!), she has opinions (watermelon=TOPS)...  she is officially not a baby anymore! And the person she is becoming is pretty rad.  The party itself was pretty awesome too.  I got to see a lot of people that I hadn't seen in forever, the food was great (If you go hungry at one of our family events, you're doing it wrong...), and it's always fun to see a bunch of toddlers getting knocked over by big dogs and trying to stuff toys in their diapers.  I also really relish the opportunity to spend more time with my brother and my sister-in-law...our lives are so different and we live so far apart that we don't get to see each other often enough and when we do, it's so quick and hurried.... but I miss them (and the rest of my family) a lot when I'm in New York.

"Where are the horses??"

I also took Abby for the day on Monday when everyone was working which was super fun.  Nice to have some one on one time with her and take her to the park and do some playing.  I will MAKE her know me, dammit!! :) My dad also joined us for a lot of the day...and Abby sure does love her Grandpa!  He's so good with her and makes he laugh so much!  Totally great day swinging and going down the slides and watching the ducks and trying out the new birthday tricycle...I think Abby's favorite part was watching the trains on the trestle going over the river with a ton of excitement and a hint of petrification.  Needless to say, Grandpa and Auntie were slightly exhausted after just one day chasing around an energetic two year old... and Auntie had to have a couple of glasses of wine.

Beautiful Wrigley Field

This is where it all went wrong...Good effort though, guys.

CUBS GAME AT WRIGLEY FIELD

I ALSO made it into the city to see one of my besties, Tara.  We've been friends since high school and have since never lived in the same state, but we've somehow managed to keep a great friendship and see each other fairly often.  Our love of Chicago sports just may be one of the ties that bind...  We used to go to Chicago Cubs games together a lot, but location (and the Cubs severe allergy to winning these days) have made it less frequent.  That same epic losing streak has also made the tickets a lot cheaper these days (although the Lovable Losers still somehow manage to bring in quite a few people consistently...must be the atmosphere and the Old Style.) so we decided to pick up a night game when I was in town.





Unfortunately, a rain deluge in the middle of the 5th and an "Oops!" moment from the Wrigley Field tarp crew caused a massive 4 1/2 hour delay that eventually ended in the Umps calling the game...Tara and I held out til about 12:30am before we called it a night.  Glad we did since they never ended up playing again!

Got this ungodly amazing Mac Attack Burger at ROCKIT before the game.  Frickin YUM.

KOONTZ LAKE, INDIANA



I luckily ended up making it out the Lake for a few days again this trip.  I love heading out to the lake house in Indiana cause it might truly be the only time and place that I don't feel like I have to DO anything.  Except EAT.  And drink Bud Light.  And cruise around the lake on the pontoon commenting on other people's cottages...This time it was just me and Mom and Dad and Grandpa (with a quick drive-by from Sarah).  Watched some preseason football and the Little League World Series, ate some corn on the cob, lay in the sun, took a quick trip to Amish Country and enjoyed some great thunderstorms.  Perfection.

Bouncy Castle at the the Fiesta.  Because OF COURSE!

BRENNA TURNS 30!!!!

The week ended with my cousin Brenna's big 30th birthday at their house in Libertyville! A Mexican Fiesta, naturally!  With the awesome taco truck and crew that they hired to feed us AND all of the food that people brought, again, no one went hungry.  I wish I could have stayed longer, but everyone knows that as soon as you book any sort of a plane ticket out of NYC, you agent calls with a great audition...So I ended up having to leave well before the end of the night to catch a flight back to the city.  ( I heard that there was some karaoke-ing, some staying up til 3am and some puking that happened later....but I won't name names. ;)





I could go on forever about my week at home, but I'll cut it short.  Oh wait! I also went out to Lincolnshire to see some friends of mine in ON THE TOWN at the Marriott there!  They were wonderful! Superstars!! So proud!  (SEE??  I can't stop making plans when I'm at home trying to relax!)  Of course it all felt too short, but it was wonderful none the less.  And I MIGHT be back sooner than later...more on that at a later date.

-e

PS:  Shout out to my parents who are ALWAYS so good to me, but especially when I'm at home....taking me out for dinner, scheduling me a dentist appointment, picking me up super early at the airport and taking off work just to hang out.  You guys are seriously the best!!

The Art of Letting Go

  Let's be honest. I have a pretty amazing life. It's mostly composed of flirting with handsome men (and sometimes they're even straight!), singing songs, going to new exciting places, meeting new people, and drinking at inappropriate times.  And that's great.  But there is a lot of the time that it is not so great...those men turned out to be cruel and unkind, those jobs that I really wanted ended up going to other people, and my bank account has hit rock bottom.  This has never been an easy career.  This has never been an easy city...not socially, not emotionally, and not financially.  But it is certainly exciting most of the time.

  I've found that this lifestyle has been both incredibly rewarding and incredibly painful.   You reach the highest heights and the lowest depths.  I tend to be a pretty happy person.  I have amazing friends, I have a great apartment, men like me, I love my neighborhood, I love my family, I'm nailing my haircut, my side job doesn't suck, I have a performing job waiting for me, there are at least 4 Thai Food joints in a block radius...things are good!  But again, things don't always turn out so rosy in this career...

One of the thing that I struggle with most in my life is the art of letting go. I find it to be incredibly difficult.  And I know that that many of my friends and colleagues don't feel the same way (while probably a lot do!). You make friends in a show, the job ends, and you move on.... But I have found that to be the most difficult part of being in this business.   Maybe the most difficult part of my life so far...

I remember being super attached to my stuffed animals as a child.  Like, SUPER attached.  I remember them being my best friends growing up. Those toys were my support group.  ...I remember thinking that my friends from elementary school were automatically going to be my friends at my new high school. I couldn't figure out why that wasn't the case... I couldn't understand why my high school boyfriend wanted nothing to do with me once we went to college. There have been many instances that I thought that my close friends would stay close.  

This career is a dream come true.  I have never met so many people that I have fallen in love with at first sight...men and women that make me laugh, make me cry, keep me in awe of their talent, touch me with their grace, blanket me in acceptance... but that love is so hard to hold on to.  It falls through your fingers so easily...  You get back to the city and people dissipate.  People go back to their lovers, their friends, their homes...and slowly you are left with people that you run into on the street with promises to meet for coffee or cocktails at some point.  Promises that you know won't be kept.  So you learn to let go?  You try to let go of people that you loved...people that meant something to you for a moment... people that have a new set of friends at a new job...    There is such a fine line between grasping on and letting go.  

I've always had the hardest time letting go.  Letting go of boyfriends, and lovers, and friends, and family, and dreams, and expectations, and ideas, and memories... maybe I am too sentimental. Maybe other people aren't sentimental enough. Maybe other people let go too easily...  Maybe people feel the pain of loss as sharply as I do...maybe they are waiting for my text as anxiously as I am awaiting theirs.  Maybe they don't feel anything.  Being an actor is a tough life.  Being a New Yorker is a tough life. It feels replaceable and transient.  It often feels lonely.  It requires sensitive people to grow a very thick skin.  Or shut down completely.  I've always felt like I am on the side of holding onto people for too long... And I never know whether that is a strength or a flaw.  Maybe it doesn't matter either way.  Because letting go is a part of this life... it doesn't matter if you are ready for it or not. People come and go, regardless.  And there isn't much that you can do, but roll with the punches. 

-e